Rock A Doodle- One hour and fourteen minutes
What the hell is this? Released in 1991 for U.K audience members and the following year here in the United States, Rock a Doodle is universally panned as one of the weirdest animated films to ever hit the silver screen. It was universally panned at the time but has since went on to have somewhat of a cult status attached. And now it is released on Netflix instant for you to enjoy. Is it a film worth watching with your kids? Well look at the cover of this, you have an Elvis Presley looking rooster holding a guitar with a cat on top.
So the quick answer is NO!!!!!!!!
But believe it or not it is fascinating. Not because it is so good, but because it is so bizarre. Its like watching one of Raoul Dukes hallucinations from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. And you can't believe Don Bluth directed this either.
Wait who is Don Bluth? Well let me show you.
This guy
Look I will give you a history lesson later in this review, but for now its movie watching time. On this site I watch films in real time, so for every five minutes I pause the film and give you my thoughts. You can either read the notes I took while watching it, or read the quick review. From this point forward I will remain entranced into the picture. This means that the notes I take below are of what I am thinking at the time. I will not edit them as I feel they have more power if you see my thoughts first-hand. My heart and soul now belong to Netflix for the next hour. So if you want the quick review I suggest you go down the page, by that time I shall be free from the chains. So lets sit down and watch some damn movies.
Lesson #1 for today- Damn makes you sound like a hick who works in a cotton field. It isn't a good thing, nor a bad thing. It's just the way life works sometimes. Amen.
COMMENCING WATCH!!!
5 Minutes- Okay the opening cheesy music is making me almost gag inside. The credits have nothing too them except for some reason they are in space? IDK. And this goes on for two fucking minutes!!! Then a really bad drawing of earth comes along and your thinking what the hell! The narrator begins to talk about sunrise, and it is wow! There is no word, it is just stupid. Like the fucking sun can turn back. Then the Rooster begins to sing. And I now want to pull my ears out! The dog can't tie his shoes. There is nothing to say. The birds crow I guess controls the sun. Will this bird shutup!!!! Thank god the song is over, I hope there isn't any more. Now there is a stranger sent by owls? WHAT!!!!!
5 minutes Review- Already I hate this movie. I don't even know how that is possible. Hopefully it gets better but with everything going on right now I don't have high hopes.
10 Minutes- How is the sun rising without his crow? Maybe the sun doesn't matter. Of course he is a fake, a rooster doesn't control the damn sun. Now there is a kid? A really bad Jake Lloyd like child that is in this movie. Wait there is a second narrator. What!!!!! Wasn't the mom the narrator? This kid seriously needs to shutup!!! Pray, there is fucking praying in a movie about an elvis impersonating rooster? Kid, if you want to be a big boy, shut your fucking mouth when things don't work out in your favor!!!Now there is a third narrator. Kid calling out for imaginary Rooster, thats normal folks. How the fuck did the kid have the right idea for calling out to an imaginary rooster. And whos narrating this? Now the owl is in the kids room, I have nothing to say. So him putting his finger on the owls face makes him come through, even though he called for the Rooster. Don't say you want to eat him, just fucking eat him. It will be a good thing for everybody.
10 Minute Review- I'm confused as ever, there are too many narrators and the plot lacks focus.
15 Minutes- This owl just needs to shutup and do whatever. What he can grow taller and breathe animation? The kid turns into a talking cat. The dog is the narrator? Owls apparently deflate from light. So the kids name is Edmund. This tying shoe gag is old!!! Edmund saying furry is pretty funny. Now he is being too obvious. How do they know him? Your parents don't exist in this world you little menance. I hope you drown Edmund! That duck has the most annoying nerd voice I have ever heard. So the sun won't raise unless he crows. Then how did it raise that one time?
15 minutes review- This is still stupid, but it is enjoyably stupid. I cannot believe how bad this is.
20 minutes- This kid is going to keep this voice isn't he. Gain some balls you menance!!! Hes a wimpy cat. Move on, this scene is going on for too long. How does the dog know about the owls. Wow these owls have the worst voices I have ever heard. Is this a parody. This is pretty funny. It isn't even a real song. All it is about is having Chanteclear never crow. Just say never let him crow. Turn the boat, your like a mile away from the tree.
20 minute review- These five minutes were just hilarious to watch. But it still sucks.
25 minutes- What are the owls plans? Why did he bring a camera? That kid needs to stop saying oh no. Oh so the duck is a woodpecker. Stop saying uh-oh also. Stop poking holes in the boat, your flooding everybody. Now they grew in size after getting out of the treasure chest. Now they see the city. They don't say, what city so we will just call it city. The owl can cook pies? This owl, just like every animated villain is too trustworthy. The duke should just do it himself if it is such a big deal.
25 minute review- As much as I hate to admit it, the story is flowing a little bit better. Also the characters (with the exception of Edmund) aren't as annoying as they were before. Now we get to see the city. I'm still confused though.
30 minutes- Why is the dog narrating? So he was underground. This shoe gag is OLD!!!! And don't they have bigger worries. This minion of the dukes is an idiot. Now he is the King. Why is he singing like Elvis? And why is he on top of giant records? Goldie, now there is a blonde haired chicken. If Goldie doesn't know it now, she won't get it later. Goldie has yet to prove otherwise. Plus he looks more happy here. Security song is just as bad as the owl song from before.
30 Minutes Review- Although not annoying like the beginning of the movie, this five minutes still proves why this movie has a notorious reputation and why critics hated it at the time. Its stupid, none of the characters are likable and it is just made for children. This movie also has some of the worst singing I have ever heard from a animated movie.
35 minutes- I would rather be famous than have these idiots as friends. I agree with the giant cat playing golf inside the helicopter? Now they are trying to make us have sympathies with characters we never introduced. Edmund's voice is getting really annoying. That owl needs to get a life. What batteries? Stop saying Oh no. THIS MUSIC IS AWFUL!!!! And it lasts like five seconds to boot so there is no point. The cat works for the owl? The owl also needs to get off his ass and do something? Worst villian ever!!
35 minutes review- The villian makes no sense and the film has no real meat. Its just a bunch of pretty images.
40 minutes- Why is the kid dressed like a bird? I don't get it, is this city suppose to be like Las Vegas. This Elvis rooster isn't entertaining in the slightest. What!!! A giant neon shark grabs a paper plane!! What is with this ocean theme anyways? Nobody notices whats going above the Rooster singing. Wow they were right, Goldie can't sing if it killed her. This Rooster is too gullible. Goldie sure doesn't look like she is in love.
40 minutes review- Although better thanks to the Rooster, this movie still seems boring and uninteresting. And now Goldie is falling in love with him. Can this movie be any more predictable?
45 Minutes- The Rooster won't understand the cat anyways, he doesn't know who he is? The song is named Kiss and Coo? If the Rooster knows he raised the sun, then why doesn't he just crow in the city? Goldie is too one dimensional, and dumb. Shes a woman!!! That's offensive you stupid woodpecker. The hunch is more of an embarrassment than anything.
45 minutes review- There is only about thirty minutes left in this movie and it seems it is going to just drag out like crazy. Man this won't end. And every character being a cardboard cutout doesn't help either.
50 minutes- What Bees? I don't know what is going on? Goldie needs to get over it. This cat is way too obvious. Thats all I say, everybody is obvious. Why did the owl send this hunch again? He serves no purpose at all! The owl sucks as a villian. Wait the motorcycle is filled with gas? They never have real motorcycles on set that work this well unless its a chase scene. Stupid Woodpecker, Shutup! Why is the caddie such a big deal? Oh now i know why he turned into a cat. He still can't drive it though, he can't see.
50 minutes review- We are just about near the point of the big car chase in the film. It has no weight so I don't care. This movie proves once again that this was a stupid idea for a motion picture.
55 minutes- Why won't he fall if hes a cat? Cats can't fly. The camera is now going inside his eye? What!!!! By far weirdest moment in the film. Car chase lasted like two minutes. Stop saying Peepers! Plus why is it bright out if he hasn't cock-a-doodle-dooded yet? This climax is one of the worst ever. The owl needs to do something. The twenty minutes of not having a terrible song, ruined. These songs have no purpose!!! This voice means nothing. Now its dark outside again. Continuity please.
55 minutes review- Nothing happened. The biggest moment of the film and it was as exciting as watching somebody play a videogame. Where is the context? Thank god it is almost over!
1 hr- Did I mention that this owl is an idiot yet. Stop being so fucking obvious! Now the film is at a halt. Just crow. When did they ever explain that he couldn't crow anymore? Did I mention how stupid this owl is? I guess saying his name again and again will help. Now the kid is dead. If he actually dies and doesn't Deus Ex, I will have respect for this film. No I won't cause it won't happen. How can the owl grow? Now hes a tornado? What!!! He can still talk? This isn't making sense? All the Rooster had to do was believe in himself, and everything works out. FUCK THIS MOVIE!!
1 hr review- By far the most confusing five minutes, the Rooster now has the spirit to defeat him. And by the looks of it I guess his crow has the power of flight and torando destroying. This movie sucks.
1 hr 5 min- Crowing fixes everything. Sorry movie you need to be more believable that this in order to work. Now the hench wants to kill the Duke (who has shrunk for some reason). The sun fixes everything. Wait he actually dies. Of course not, he turns into a real boy like Pinocchio. And I guess it was a dream, just like Wizard of Oz. So this movie had no point at all. Why does he need to go back to bed, is he sick? Stop believing in fake Roosters! The story is still making it seem like they were real? Now he is in a really bad green screen effect. Petes Dragon form the foruties is more convincing than this. And now its over.
1 hr 5 min review- Film has ended even though on netflix it shows that it is 1 hr 14 min. IDK what the deal is with that? The last five minutes are just as pointless as the rest of this movie.
REVIEW
Like I said earlier this film was Directed by Don Bluth. What else did he direct? Well look at the pictures below to find out.
Now what do all of these films have in common? Well as you might have guessed they were all directed by Don Bluth. Not only that but they were also made in the 1980s, and were great movies. Chances are you have seen at least one of these films before (and if not alot of them are on netflix as well). And they were creative, fun and entertaining. So what the hell happened! Rock-A-Doodle was one of the worst children films I have ever seen.
GOOD ASPECTS
There is only one good aspect from this movie, and that is that the Rooster (who is named Chanticleer but I just call him Rooster cause Chanticleer just sounds so out of place) has a good Elvis voice. And with everybody else sounding like Kesha without her autotune, that is a blessing.
BAD ASPECTS
The film is slow. The images are dull. The characters are unlikable and unfocused. The animation sucks compared to Don Bluths other films. The owl (or duke) is an idiot and doesn't do anything until the end. Edmund is annoying. The woodpecker is annoying. Both have voices you just want to strangle. The jokes aren't funny and they keep repeating them. The singing is some of the worst you'll ever hear. And the story has no meat to it. It left me with nothing but questions (as you saw above). All in all this film was just an awful experience. Is it one of the worst films I have ever seen? No. but for Don Bluth, this is really embarrassing, and it didn't get any better for him either.
Here is my ranking.
RANKING SYSTEM
Buy It
Que It
Watch It
Ignore it
Hate it
Below one star
And unfortunately for the first film I reviewed here on this site, this film deserves nothing more than a "Hate It". Never ever see this film in your life. Even if your child is bored and has seen everything else on Netflix, you smack him and tell him no. That kid should learn about the evils of this planet. If I had to score this on a number scale it gets a 2/10.
I will review a good Don Bluth movie later if this becomes successful, but for today I am done with animated movies. Thanks so much for reading my blog, I hope you were entertained and the next movie I will review is
One of the best movies you can see on Netflix. And I will tell you why, next time. But first I will be reviewing the hit television show Arrested Development. I will be talking about each episode in complete detail, and will be giving you my top ten episodes.
Thanks again, have a good day everybody.
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